The Man Behind The Mask
by mandy52799
Summary: What would you do if the man of your dreams appeared in your apartment one night, only to disappear again. Bella does whatever it takes to find out, who is the man behind the mask? FAGE3some gift for Midnightlove87.
1. Chapter 1

**Ficawesome Gift Exchange- 3some**

**Title: The Man Behind The Mask**

**Written for: Mid Night-Love/Midnightlove87**

**Written By: mandy52799**

**Rating: M**

**Summary/Prompt used: One where a girl meets her true love in an unusual way. **

**One where a man has an embarrassing habit and then has to tell his girlfriend, maybe the girlfriend will be accepting of that habit. **

**One where a man is lost, lonely with a broken heart. He's a wanderer. And finally he stumbles upon a lovely woman. Love blossoms. And makes him not so lost.**

**I don't own Twilight, its characters, any music or books I may slyly reference, or Batman. I do, however, harbor some naughty fantasies about a certain Twilight actor playing Batman. Which one? Only time will tell...**

Bella sighed as she trudged into her apartment after a long week at work. Dropping her keys on the kitchen counter, she rolled her neck to release the tension. It had been an especially grueling week at the office, and everyone had been excited for 5 o'clock on Friday. Everyone except Bella, who had nothing to look forward to but an empty apartment and a TV dinner. _Maybe I should get a cat. _She thought to herself, but immediately shuddered at the idea. Cats left hair all around and would disrupt the order of her perfectly organized life.

Grabbing a glass of wine, and her tattered copy of _The Vigilante's Bride, _Bella snuggled on the couch for her own version of date night. _Where have all good men gone? _She pondered. Working at the battered womens' shelter had given birth to fantasies of vigilantism. Her police chief father had raised her to trust the legal system, but her experience left her needing a hero. _Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need. He's got to be strong and he's got to be fast and he's got to be.."_

Bella was instantly jolted from her musings when a loud clatter rang out from her balcony. _What the fuck? I live on the fourteenth floor?_ Rising to her feet, she went to investigate the mystery. Suddenly the balcony door slid open and a tall dark figure stepped into the shadows of the unlit space.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bella screamed as if her life depended on it. And in fact that might just well be the case.

"Shhhh Shhhh Shhhh! Please calm down ! I'm not going to hurt you." A low velvet voice broke through the fog of fear in her brain as she felt the electric jolt of foreign fingers holding onto her shoulder. _Does this dude not pick up his feet when he walks?_

"How...How the FUCK did you get in here?" Bella shook her head back and forth to clear the cobwebs. Surely she must be hallucinating the site in front of her."

"Through the balcony." His calm smooth voice responded. _No shit, Sherlock._

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Batman."


	2. Chapter 2

**BATLOG JUNE 17, 2011**

_I'm Batman?_

I'm _motherfucking_ Batman?

What the fuck was I thinking? There I was, in the presence of an angel and instead of professing my utter devotion, what do I tell her? That I'm a fucking bat. Nice.

Maybe its for the best. I mean...what would I have told her anyway? How would I explain how I just happened to be on her balcony, dressed as a superhero. I can't claim I'm preparing for Halloween..its fucking June for christ sakes. _Um, hey there beautiful.._._I thought I saw a spider and came to rescue you..._Nice. Where was that line of thought when I was making an ass out of myself earlier?

The thing is...she didn't look scared. Surprised? Sure. Who wouldn't be? It's not everyday a giant bat WALKS in from your balcony. But this girl was more than surprised. I may not have stayed long enough to choke on my size 10's anymore than I already had, but I did notice her face flushing and her chest heaving like she was turned on. Yeah, I was staring at her tits. Who wouldn't? She has an awesome rack. I may like to dress like a bat, but I'm still a man. I still got a dick. A dick that is still hard as fuck thinking of her tits popping out the top of that tiny white tank top, and her ass in those sweats.

Too bad I will never be able to face her again.

I'm sure she thinks I'm a freak.

Did she even realize who I am?

How could she not?

_God I hope she didn't. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Still don't own anything. My wonderful beta is my beloved friend kitties1. Check out her EPIC work in progress, Isabella Swan: Submissive on or on twcs. I happen to be blessed enough to make several appearances in this steamy and humorous tale. See if you can find me, and make sure you leave lots of love for the author. 3**

Bella stood there; heart pounding, chest heaving, panties dripping. It was only the sight of a dirty boot print marring her spotless floor that snapped her out of her lust induced haze.

_Who was that man? Why was he here? And why didn't he have the nerve to wipe his feet before entering?_

She realized that she didn't have a welcome mat on her balcony, and instantly vowed to remedy that oversight as soon as possible.

With that decision made, she was torn between wiping up the offensive footprint, or following the caped crusader. Her fastidious nature warred with the sudden aching need that had suddenly filled her. She had never quite felt this way, and if she was honest with herself...she kind of liked it.

She ran to the door, following the path that the masked man had used for his hurried departure. It had been but a minute since he left. _Surely he couldn't have gone to far? _

The hallway of her apartment complex was silent. No one moved about; there was no ding from the elevator that would have signaled his escape. _Where could he have gone?_

Dejected, she turned back toward her apartment. The call of the dirty footprint hastening her pace. This man may have made a permanent mark on her heart, but she refused to let him leave a permanent mark on her floor.


	4. Chapter 4

**BATLOG JUNE 17..18...hell its the middle of the fucking night.**

I can't sleep.

I never made it to my destination last night. So here I sit; all dressed up and no place to go.

How the hell had I never noticed how beautiful she was before?

I wanted to go back to her. I wanted to kiss her pouty lips, sweep her up into my arms, and take her to bed. Fuck her into oblivion. _Yeah right. I probably would have dropped her before we made it to the bed. Probably would have cum on myself before I made it out of my suit too._

**Note to self: **

**Start hitting the gym.**

**Alter suit to have penal access panel. **_Must consult Esme about this._

I hate involving others in my little world, but she never judges.

Not like my family. They'd never understand.

I was meant to be the perfect son. As far as they know, that's who I am. I followed in my fathers footsteps, committing my life to helping others. They see the successful son they are proud of. They'd never understand the man behind the mask.

That's why I ran tonight. I couldn't let them see the real me.

I live for Friday nights. When I don't have to work, I can shed my socially acceptable persona and become the real me. So there I was, all dressed up in my "costume," ready to make my way to the secret lair where others like myself mingle, when my bat senses alerted me to a knock on the door.

No one could see me like this. I keep my two worlds separate.

A stealthy peak at the peep-hole showed that my brother was on the other side.

_My brother who has a fucking key._

Without thought of my safety, I raced to the balcony. _Perhaps I should have thought first. _I was trapped. I could hear him enter the apartment, calling my name. I knew I had to escape, it was only a matter of time before he found me. _FUCK._

Minutes passed. Sweat was pooling between the vinyl of my second skin and my own human flesh.

Looking around, I decided that I would have to make my way to one of the other balconies. To one side I could see a large dog barking and snarling at the door leading to the balcony. Saliva was dripping from his sharp teeth and running down the glass he was slamming against.

_I fucking hate dogs._

To the other side, I saw the balcony of the young brunette who lived next door. I hadn't spoken to her much since she moved in a couple years ago. She was quiet. I often caught glimpses of her on warm nights, cuddled up on the balcony with a book and a soft smile.

_Definitely the better option._

I figured she wouldn't be home on a Friday night, anyway. She probably had a date, or was out at some club. Living up her youth or some shit.

I climbed up on the railing, reaching one foot out toward hers, when I heard my brother's voice.

"_Hey douchebag, you out here?"_

My foot slipped. I found myself dangling fourteen stories above the city.

I was going to die. In my bat suit. My parents would be ridiculed. _Oh god, what have I done? _

I felt the vibrations of my brothers footsteps on the balcony. Holding on for dear life, I tried to decide if I should ask for help.

His phone rang.

"_Naw babe. He ain't here."_ Must be the girlfriend.

"_I don't fucking know. Maybe he's out getting some ass for once." _Gee, thanks bro.

"_I don't care what you tell Tanya. I'm not the one who promised to set her up with my brother."_ I shuddered and my grasp slipped a bit. Tanya. I can't stand that woman.

"_I know you mean well babe, but I don't even know if he likes girls." _Fucker.

His voice trailed off as he re-entered the apartment.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw that the balcony next door was within my reach. I said a quick prayer, and released one hand, swinging it toward my escape route.

Luckily, I didn't fall.

After a LOT of effort, I was able to pull myself up onto the girl's balcony.

**Note to self: hit gym twice.**

I should have waited right there.

I should have made myself comfortable on her cutesy little outdoor furniture, and waited till I was sure my brother was gone.

Of course I didn't do that.

No, I decided to see if she locked her balcony door or not.

_Just checking her safety and all_.

Yeah, I didn't buy that either. Something was just drawing me in there.

That same something is drawing me back. I can feel a physical pull back to her apartment. Back to the warmth and the comfort I could feel there.

Back to her presence. Her heaving chest. _God, those tits_. I want to go to her.

I guess its time to get changed, put batman away for now.

Pull out my dick and..._well you know_.


	5. Chapter 5

With her floor once again sparkly clean, Bella could finally sleep.

Except she couldn't.

She found herself more aroused then she had ever been before.

No steamy romance novel, no soft-core porn could compare to what the mere glimpse of her dream man had done to her lady bits. She was swollen, throbbing, and begging for release.

_Damnit! _She cursed internally. Tossing the covers back, she left her bed to grab her not-so-little friend.

_Ah, Hitachi Magic Wand. We meet again._

Years of abstinence had taught her to forgo the battery operated boyfriends for something a little more hearty. Something that plugged into the wall.

Don't judge, you'd like it too.

She laid back upon her bed, closed her eyes and opened her legs.

"_Why are you here?" she breathed out._

"_I'm here for you Bella. I need you."_

"_Need...me? For what?"_

"_So many things, my Bella. I need your help fighting the bad guys. I need your love to give me strength. But most of all, I need to feel you in my arms. I need your body Isabella. Can I have your body? Can you give me everything?"_

"Yes! YES! YES!" She cried out as her orgasm ripped through her with a fury.

_Damn. That didn't take long._

After catching her breath, she stood to strip the bed, start the laundry, and take a shower.

You couldn't possibly expect her to sleep in such a state.

Once the sheets and Bella were both washed, dried, ironed and back on the bed, sleep finally came.

Luckily her dream sex lasted much longer.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella awoke the next morning well rested, sexually sated, and in the midst of forming a plan.

She would find her masked man.

She quickly set about her morning routine. The bed was straightened to perfection. Her clothes removed and sorted into the correct colored laundry bins. Her morning bathroom routine completed, and the sink wiped dry. Not a stray hair was to be found.

She went to her dresser. Today called for something special. She opened up her drawer and removed her thinking socks. They were neon green knee highs, with purple, pink and yellow stripes at the top. _Everyone should be so lucky as to have such awesome thinking socks._ She paired those with some adorable polka dot bot shorts and a t-shirt from her favorite movie. All she needed was coffee and she'd be ready to think.

Sitting crisscross applesauce in her dining room chair, she alternated between sipping her coffee and chewing on the back of her pen. _Ugh. I'll have to throw this one out when I'm done. _When she awoke, she was absolutely determined to find her batman. While he may be the world's greatest detective, she was not.

Sighing, she decided she might as well be productive. She crossed out "How to find you Batman" at the top of the page. She started to write below it, but decided it would never do. She needed a clean sheet. She ripped the page from the notepad and quickly added it to her recycle bin, and returned to her previous position. _Much better._

Quickly and neatly she began to compile a list of things to do. If she couldn't figure out who he was, at least she could prepare in case he returned. She was almost giddy with excitement at the prospect. Once she finished with the list, she was anxious to get started.

As soon as she washed out her coffee cup.


	7. Chapter 7

**BATLOG JUNE 18 2011**

I finally gave up on sleep and settled for a cup of coffee.

I live off the stuff at work. I'm used to long hours and no sleep. The fanfuckingtastic wank was different. I might have to add that to my daily routine.

Since sleep wasn't an option, I decided to make good on my to do list and headed down to the gym. Although I had lived in this building for 5 or so years, it took me a while to find it.

When I finally stumbled upon it, I felt more lost then I was before. I stood gaping at the machines, not knowing what they were for or how to use them.

As my eyes scanned the large room, I noticed one other person was already making use of one of the machines. _Who the fuck hits the gym at 6 am on Saturday? _I put on my best "I know what the fuck I'm doing" face and headed to the treadmills that were near the other occupant. Maybe if I watched him, I could figure out what to do.

It took me a bit to figure out how to operate the treadmill. I found the activity silly. I kept picturing myself as can of soup trying to escape the cashier at the grocery store. If I gave up for one second I would be caught and scanned...taken home and cracked open...cooked for dinner. I couldn't let that happen!

Once I felt sure that I would not become dinner, or fall flat on my face, I glanced up at the other occupant of the gym. I immediately recognized him. He was my neighbor from upstairs. The guy that lived on the other side of the hot little brunette whose ass I wanted to tap so hard...

Before I knew what was happening I had a face full of conveyer belt. _Damnit. I guess I'm dinner now._

I heard dickhead snicker at me. _Wanna give me a hand here fuckface?_

His next words made me glad I didn't say that out loud.

"_I know I have that effect on women...never thought I'd have it on a man."_

Absolutely mortified, I remained face down as I heard him get up and move...as far away from me as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

**Just a reminder...I own nothing but a warped sense of humor. My gorgeous, wonderful, awesome, darling beta is kitties1. She proofs 'em as fast as I can write 'em. Make sure you check out her one-shot, Visions in Blue. It's probably the longest one-shot in existence, but its amazing. The visuals are beautiful, the story is fantastic. She has such an amazing way with words. If you look it up on TWCS you can see the banner I made for it :) (Also check out the banner I made for her other story Isabella Swan: Submissive.) Don't forget to leave her some love!**

Rosalie Hale raced down the hallway of Bella's apartment complex. Her frumpy friend was always resisting the makeover she so badly needed. Rosalie wouldn't give her time to have a change of heart. She loved Bella with all her heart; they had been best friends since birth, but even she had to admit the girl was odd. Maybe if Bella got laid, she would grow up a bit. Stop focusing so much on work and obsessive cleaning, and worry about normal things. _Like hot men with huge dicks...mmmmm._

At any rate, holding onto her V-card wasn't doing Bella any good. Couldn't hurt to do away with it.

Rounding the corner to Bella's apartment she was startled by the scene in front of her.

There stood Bella...talking to what had to be the hottest man on the face of the earth.

The fact that she was talking to a man, let alone a hot man was odd enough. But what had Rosalie (as well as the sexy stranger) choking back laughter was what she was wearing. Bella stood there wearing a small tshirt that covered half her ass. The other half poking out was covered in polka dot boyshorts. And the pièce de résistance? Knee-high socks. Neon fucking green socks. _Oh my god what was she thinking._

As she moved closer, she was able to hear what they were saying.

"...just waiting for my friend Rose. Hopefully she has my key."

"Can I get you anything in the mean time? Maybe some pants?" A full blown grin covered his handsome face. Both girls were a little breathless at the sight.

"Umm..." Bella's face couldn't have gone any redder. Her thoughts were muddled from the nearness of this handsome man and the embarrassment of the situation.

Luckily Rosalie chose that moment to intervene.

"Hey Bella...Who's your friend?" Bella could hear the smile in Rosalie's voice.

_Maybe not so lucky..._

"This is my neighbor...Edward. We were just um...I was just...I got loc.."

"We were just discussing Bella's rebellion against societies insistence on pants." Edward intervened.

Rosalie and Edward burst out laughing at this. Bella stood there mortified, not knowing what to do. _Could this get any worse?_

"Good morning Bella...Edward." _Apparently it could._

Bella turned around to see her other neighbor, Carlisle, standing there taking in the full effect of her wardrobe. She was barely able to squeak out a "Hi."

Rosalie's laughter died in her throat as she turned and saw the second stunning man. _Do all the man in this building look like this? I think I might need to make a change of address..._

"Is everything alright here?" Carlisle asked gently. His words may have been soft, but the glare he was sending Edward was sharp. Bella turned to glance at Edward and noticed him glaring right back. _What the fuck is that all about?_

"Everything is fine." Bella spit out quickly. She grabbed Rose's huge handbag and began rifling through it for her keys. Rose was no help as she stood there gawping at the two men. She was fantasizing about them moving closer to each other, never losing that intense gaze...until they wound up in each others arms...

Fortunately Bella found the keys before Rose got too far into the fantasy. She quickly unlocked the door and threw it open. Grabbing Rose by the wrist and dragging her into the apartment, she shot a quick, "Well goodbye now." over her shoulder, leaving the two men locked in a heated stare.


	9. Chapter 9

"Isabella Swan! Explain yourself right fucking now!"

Bella proceeded to relay the events of the previous night. As she did, she noticed her beautiful friend's expression change from anger to utter bewilderment.

"So that's what happened" Bella finished her tale.

Rosalie blinked a few times as she attempted to wrap her head around the story she had just been told. "Bella...Bella honey, you don't really think Batman visited you do you?"

"He sure as hell did! He even left a footprint behind."

"Where?"

"I scrubbed it up."

"Uh-huh." Rosalie sat quietly as she considered her dear friend for a few moments.

"Bella, you know you can talk to me about anything right?" Bella nodded.

"Bella, sweetheart, how long have you had a drug problem?"

"A WHAT?"

"I'm not here to judge honey, I just want to help."

"Rosalie, I do NOT have a drug problem. I've never even TRIED anything illegal. Charlie would have strung me up if he even had an inkling that I was pondering it."

"Well then you explain to me how I am supposed to believe that a fictional character...that BATMAN...scaled the side of your building last night." Rosalie stared at Bella, who burst into laughter. _She really has gone around the bend.._

"Rose...I never said he scaled the building."

"Of course not...because that would be ridiculous." Rosalie began picturing herself as the concerned BFF on an episode of _Intervention. _It would look better if she cried, but crying made her nose red and eyes puffy. _Perhaps I can fake it._

"Rosalie Hale, do you really think I'm that stupid. I know he's not REALLY Batman. I figure he is one of my neighbors. Who else could have got on my balcony? That's why I was creeping in the hallway earlier. I was looking for clues. Unfortunately I forgot my keys."

"As well as your pants..."

Bella turned red and stared at the floor. She didn't mean to be such a spaz, it just kind of happened.

"Alright. So let me get this straight. You called me over here today to help you get all sexified." Bella nodded. "For a man who dresses up like a fictional character and breaks into your apartment. Is that about right?"

"Well when you put it that way..."

"As long as we're on the same page. Let's see that to do list."


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing, including talent to write. Yet here I am, like a bad singer at karaoke night. I want to give a big hug to my girls from The League of Extraordinary CQHers. I couldn't survive fandom, life, or a single day without you girls (and James.) Love you with every beat of my blackened nasty hatefilled heart! 333**

**To Do List**

**Buy a welcome mat for balcony.**

**Pickup some sexy lingerie.**

**Get girly bits waxed.**

**Get sexy new clothes.**

**Learn to be sexy**

**Buy condoms.**

**Clear out unicorns and teddybears from bedroom.**

**Figure out who is the man behind the mask.**

Rosalie snorted as she read the items on Bella's to do list. "Well, lets get to it." she said, while standing and grabbing her bag.

Bella followed her to the door, eager to get to it.

"Um Bella...no one wants to see your knobby kneed baby giraffe legs. Put some pants on."

~*o*~

Hours later, Bella found herself soaking in a bathtub full of ice. She could have sworn her rubber ducky was giving her the side eye. _His lips are looking a tad blue..._

Asking Rosalie for help had sounded like a brilliant idea, but sitting here with a raw cooch, Bella wasn't so sure anymore.

~*o*~

_EARLIER_

"Ok, I'm going to need you to remove your pants and underwear, then lay down with your legs spread." Bella suddenly felt a bit nervous. It's not like she was in the habit of showing off her lady bits.

"Um Rosalie...do you really think its necessary for you to stay" she asked as she got into position.

"Yes. I'm here for moral support. Do you smell hot pockets?"

"I don't know how much support you can give me here Rose..."

"Support, bodily pinning you down to the table...Whatever it takes to get the job done. I swear I'm smelling...tuna? Tuna flavored hot pockets?"

"Rose, I think you've lost your ever loving HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT HURT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE? REMOVING MY FUTURE CHILDREN THROUGH MY HAIR FOLICALS?"

Silence followed as the other women in the room stared at Bella blankly. That was until the stealthy aesthetician reached up and yanked another strip of hair off of Bella's fur burger.

~*o*~

Rosalie dragged a tender Bella to their next destination. The lingerie shop.

"Rosalie why on earth would I want to spend this much money on a scrap of material."

Rosalie stared Bella down, an exasperated look on her face. "How much is it worth to you to get laid."

"Good point."

Rosalie tossed a handful of thongs at Bella. "You need these. Something about lace just does a man in."

"Ugh! No way! I don't want butt floss. Can't I get some cute boy shorts?"

"Tell you what Bella, why don't you go try on some of each and we'll decide what looks better."

Bella looked down at her poor abused bits and decided that suddenly thongs didn't sound so bad. Rosalie smiled victoriously.

~*o*~

"Bella, hurry up! Why are you waddling like that?"

"BECAUSE MY SNATCH FUCKING HURTS ALRIGHT?"

Rosalie failed miserably at stifling the laughter that forced its way up her throat. This infuriated Bella even more, as she stood chest heaving, glaring daggers at her best friend. In her apparently deafening rage, it took her a moment to register the titters of the crowd that was now gawking at them. Red faced, Bella rushed into the nearest store.

_What the fuck? Did I just walk into Hooker's R Us?_

"Nice choice Bella! I didn't know you had it in you." Rosalie smiled as she immediately started gathering small scraps of material and tossing them at Bella.

"And what exactly do you want me to do with these?"

"Try them on Bella."

Once again Bella found herself debating with her miserable muff. "_Don't even fucking think about it," _voiced the little man in the boat. Hardly able to afford a mutiny by her lower half she decided to bend to the will of her pussy. Hopefully next time her pussy would be making decisions that involved more pleasurable pursuits.

Rosalie watched bemused as Bella mouthed words towards her crotch. After a brief conversation, Bella informed Rosalie to just pick whatever...so long as she didn't have to try it on.


	11. Chapter 11

Once her angry red beaver had gone sufficiently numb, Bella felt it was safe to step out of the bath. After drying every inch of herself, scrubbing the tub from top to bottom, wiping it dry, and brushing her hair exactly 100 strokes, she was ready to face the shopping bags that awaited her in her room.

Once they had successfully raided Heidi Fleiss's closet, Bella had felt it was her best bet to head home. It had killed her to leave those shopping bags on her bed, but for once she had put her pussy before cleaning, sorting, and perfect order.

Emptying the bags on her bed, she stared at the pile of lacy, gauzy, barely there pieces of fabric. The thought of scooping it all up and tossing it off the balcony was quite appealing. Sadly, her bank account had taken a large hit today and couldn't afford another. She'd have to make do with what she bought.

Bella quickly set to removing tags and placing her new slut-wear in its color coded and temperature appropriate order in her immaculate closet. The tension melted away as everything was sorted into order.

Grabbing a glass (re: bottle) of wine, Bella sat down to review her to do list.

**To Do List**

**Buy a welcome mat for balcony.**

**XPickup some sexy lingerie.**

**XGet girly bits waxed.**

**XGet sexy new clothes.**

**Learn to be sexy**

**Buy condoms.**

**Clear out unicorns and teddybears from bedroom.**

**Figure out who is the man behind the mask.**

It was getting late, and she was too tired to head out to do any more shopping. _Guess I should figure who the hell it is that I'm doing all this for._

Bella wasn't lieing when she told Rosalie she didn't believe this man was ACTUALLY Batman. She wasn't that coo-coo for cocoa puffs. She returned to her original hypothesis...it had to be one of her neighbors.

Had she been thinking clearly from day one, her mortification in the hallway would not have happened. Unfortunately for Bella, in her worked up state she had been unable to recall who her neighbors were. She had lived in the same apartment for a few years now, but she always kept to herself. Thanks to her pants-less jaunt in the hallway she knew that to one side lived Dr. Carlisle Cullen, to the other Officer Edward Masen.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was a handsome man, with blonde hair and a sweet smile. He was tall, pale, and sexy. Following in his father's footsteps, he was the favorite to take over as the chief of staff at the hospital Bella frequented. She had never been fortunate enough to have Carlisle's hands upon her in the E.R., but perhaps that was for the best. Knowing her, she'd finally find some way to maim him as he stitched up her latest battle wound.

Officer Edward Masen was almost his complete opposite. He was also tall and pale, but that's where the similarities ended. Edward was sex on legs, and he knew it. He was the kind of man you mama warned you about. He used his devilish good looks to win the hearts and get his way.

She remembered seeing her friend Alice washing his laundry once when she had first moved in. She hadn't acquired her own washer and drier yet, and was forced into the bowels of hell known as the community laundry room. She noticed her tiny friend Alice struggling with a huge hamper of smelly clothes. Dropping her own sack, she rushed to the small girl's aid. Once they both had started their wash, Bella had inquired about the massive load the pixie had tried to pack mule down to the basement.

"_Oh, its just Edward's laundry."_

"_You're boyfriend?"_

"_Heavens no! Edward that lives next door to you silly!"_

"_Okay...So why do you have Edward-who-lives-next-door-to-me's clothes?"_

"_Oh, he's just such a nice guy and so terribly busy...I just thought I should help!"_

"_What exactly is he so busy doing that he let this mountain of laundry pile up?"_

"_Well he...um..." Alice let out a giggle. "Honestly, Bella I have no clue. He just smiled at me and my mind went blank and my mouth opened offering to do it for him."_

No, Bella didn't like the idea of being used by Edward Masen. She knew he worked as a vice cop, and she knew she had no interest in finding a man like Charlie. She saw how unhappy he made her mom before she left. Edward was broody, gruff and..._and completely gorgeous...and totally fuckable._


	12. Chapter 12

As the wine began to loosen her mind, and her fingers began to loosen her robe, Bella pondered the two men. As her teeth nibbled on her lower lip, her fingers found there way to her...much lower lips. She traced her clit as she traced their features in her mind, trying to find the features that would let her know who her dark night was.

She found her thoughts kept straying from the task. Before she knew it, her mind was showing her images of both men, standing before her topless and messaging her body. She did her best to imitate their motions on her own skin, but alas...she did not have four hands.

Following their hands in her vision, she rubbed herself into a frenzy. Now that her beaver's fever was somewhat calmed, she found that every touch was so much more sensitive. Her hands were covered in her wetness as she rubbed, stroked, and pinched her pleasurable pussy.

Her heart was pounding, causing a beating in her ears. She could almost feel the earth moving around her as she got closer and closer to release. The pounding in her ears got louder and louder until...

She realized it was actual pounding...on her door.

Flushed and embarrassed, she made her way to the door, tying her robe as she went. The anger boiling inside her over her lost orgasm clouded her thought process. She yanked the door wide open without a glance at the peephole.

She immediately realized two things:

One: There was a large gorilla of a man standing in front of her...without any pants on.

Two: Her knot tying skills were sub-par.


	13. Chapter 13

**Big thank you to my beta kitties1, who betas 'em as I write 'em. She unfortunately choked on a lung whilst reading about the waxing trip. As she recovers, I feel it my duty to warn you NOT to eat or drink anything during the reading of ANYTHING I write. You never know what I will put in there. Better to be safe than sorry!**

Bella stood motionless, staring at the massive man in front of her. Her brain had surely shut down to protect itself from what was happening. _Please God, let this be a nightmare._

"Emmett! What the fuck are you doing..."

_God hates me..._

Bella's body unfroze as her mind registered the reality of the situation. Ear piercing screams left her lips as she closed the flap of her robe that had fallen open and double knotted the sash.

Emmett was saddened by the loss of the view. He has much enjoyed the site of the large firm titty that had waved at him as it's owner came to a sudden stop. He also thought he saw a bit of a bare lip, but wasn't entirely sure.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!" Edward's voice rang out through the hallway.

Suddenly the pant-less King Kong disappeared from Bella's vision. She slowly dropped her head to take in the site of lean Officer Masen kneeling on the back of the behemoth he called Emmett. He pulled some cuffs from his back pocket and slapped them on the man with ease.

_That is so fucking hot..._

Bella stood there licking her lips, appreciating the site before her. She must have zoned out, because before she knew what was happening, Edward had his hands on her shoulders shaking her gently.

"Bella! Bella are you alright! Sweetheart, what did he do to you?"

"Huh? What do I want you to do to me?"

Edward let out a small chuckle and stepped away from the slightly dazed girl in front of him. He turned to the man that was currently struggling to get off the floor and cussing up a storm.

"Eddie boy when I get my fucking hands on you..."

"Emmett, what the hell happened here? I was only out of the room for a minute for answer my phone, and I find you out here doing God know what to my neighbor!"

"Well you told me about the whole no pants thing that happened and I wanted to help." Emmett explained like it was obvious.

_Please kill me now._

Edward stared at Emmett completely bemused. "Come again?"

_I would if I hadn't got interrupted the first time._

Edward's head shot around to face Bella, a look of shock on his face.

_Oops...not in my head._

"Um no..no it wasn't in your head."

_Note to self: get internal filter fixed._

"Yeah...you might want to look into that." Edward said, as he shook his head and returned his focus to the squirming man on the ground. "Alright, so how exactly were you helping?"

"Well you told me how Bella was all embarrassed about being caught bare-assed. Since you dickweeds obviously didn't know how to react to make her feel better I thought I would do it."

"And what exactly is it that you were doing?"

"Showing Bella it's natural to have no pants on. It feels quite freeing."

"Uh huh...Well natural as it may be, it is also illegal to expose yourself in public. Furthermore, Bella wasn't bare-assed. She had panties on. You, however, don't."

"Really? Were they hot? Is she the red lacy type or maybe something innocent like white cotton? She seems like a white cotton girl. Fuck that's hot."

Bella stood praying for an asteroid to find its way to her exact location at that moment.

"Come on Em, nobody wants to see your hairy ass." He yanked the burly man to his feet, and Bella noticed that he was in fact wearing nothing below the waist. He was also quite aroused by the panty discussion.

"Oh my God!" she breathed out. It was difficult to tell if she was shocked or intrigued.

Edward shoved the streaker into his own apartment and slammed the door closed. He turned toward the flushed faced girl who still stood shocked in her doorway.

"Bella, I'm soooooo sorry for my brother's behavior. Do you want to press charges? I can run him in..."

"No..no that's alright. I mean its only fair. I flashed him too..."

"Say what?"

"Um..nothing. Nevermind."

"If your sure..." Edward looked into Bella's eyes to judge her sincerity.

Bella felt trapped in his eyes. Green. They were so green. She had never had the guts to look him in the eyes before. Now she couldn't bear to look away. She found herself leaning toward him, and it almost seemed that he was leaning in as well.

Their faces were only inches apart. _Oh my god! He's going to kiss me! My first kiss! Finally! _Their lips were about to touch...

"Yo dickhead! I gotta take a piss! Get your ass in here and uncuff me, or your girly rug gets it!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Shout out to my all my girls (and James) at CQH. I love you Sabrina, Athy, Vicky, Lil, Penny, Cin, Jaime, Mina, Janet, Kayla, Cat, Annie, Katy, Jamie, Kelly, and James. I know at least if no one else reads this, you guys will. Thanks for always being my support for anything and everything. Oh and I still own nothing...nada...nil.**

The next week was a little...weird...for Bella. She was so used to living like a shut in, and now there were people invading her routine.

Edward had disappeared almost instantly after the almost kiss. Bella realized that the whole incident was probably a product of her lust addled mind, and decided to return to her previous activities lest she have more hallucinations.

~*o*~

The next morning, Bella awoke having dreamt of her Batman. Although he had spent the night pleasuring her, she awoke annoyed. She couldn't make out the color of his eyes. She thought back to the night he came to her. It was too dark. Too fast.

With no chance of coming any closer to figuring it out, Bella decided to work on some of the other items on her list.

She called down to maintenance, who luckily had some spare boxes she could use. Her luck ended there, as Mike Newton, the sleazy apartment manager brought them up.

"Hey Bells!"

_Ugh!_

"Hi Mike. Thanks for the boxes." She tried to quickly grab the boxes and shut the door, but Mike was having none of it.

"Need some help in there beautiful?" He winked at her.

A shudder of disgust ran down her spine. She was rescued by a pixie who made a sudden appearance.

"Hey Bella!" she chirped as she brushed past Mike like he wasn't even there.

"Hi Alice, whats up?"

"I want you to meet someone!" she said excitedly as she shoved a cold hard object into Bella's hand. "This is Vernon. I blew him this morning. I just finished polishing him off and now he's all yours!"

Bella stared at the shiny glass penis in her hand. Alice had even managed to get multi-colored glitter inside it.

"Alice..um..why?"

"Oh Bella! You use that jackhammer of a vibrator, and it keeps me up all night. I thought you could use something a little quieter!"

Mike cleared his throat. "So uh Bella...would you like to go out sometime?"

~*o*~

Once Bella had politely dismissed her guests, and found a new home for Vernon, she set to packing up her childhood. She was a woman now. She had womanly things. She had no need for teddys and unicorns. Right?

She lovingly kissed Robbie the unicorn as she placed him in the box. They had been such good friends. He always made her smile. Jack and Petey, her two favorite teddy bears went in next. She hugged them tight as a tear slid down her face. She reached out for her last bear, Krispie. She never liked this bear. It was always giving her the side eye. It also smelled bad and its hair was all ratty. She decided to chuck it. No need to keep something she hated.

~*o*~

Boxes sealed and moved to storage, Bella wiped her last tears away. _What to do now... _Rosalie always told her that the best way to get over getting rid of old stuff was to get new stuff. So that's what she decided to do.

Flipping open her laptop, she made her way over to Ebay. Always a bargain hunter, she preferred shopping at the online auction site above all other options. Typing in batman yielded a plethora of wonders. She spent the rest of her Sunday browsing, buying, and watching items of interest.

~*o*~

Work was the same old depressing story. She loved her job, but even Bella could admit that seeing so many broken women left a mark on her psyche. She'd actually be happier to be unemployed if it meant no more battered women. As she processed paperwork on another young woman who had been convinced "he was so sorry and would never do it again," Bella fantasized about her Batman swooping in and helping her seek her revenge on the wife beaters of the world.

~*o*~

On Wednesday, Bella was excited to find a small package in her mailbox. She quickly tore into it, finding the necklace she had ordered. It was a tiny replica of the bat signal hanging from a delicate silver chain. She immediately put it on, smiling as she turned to dispose of the packaging in the nearby trashcan. She happily spun around to make her way out of the lobby and toward her dinner date with Alice and Rosalie. She ran smack into a firm, warm body. Her eyes traveled up to the beautiful face with an angel's smile. Carlisle. Her eyes met his, and for the first time she noticed the startling blue color.

_Wow._

Carlisle steadied her on her feet, and took a step back. "Good evening Bella, how are you?"

Bella's voice cracked as she attempted to speak. "Fine." She squeaked out. Her nerves had her on edge, so she grabbed her necklace...toying with it for something to do."

Carlisle's eyes drifted down to the necklace she was running back and forth along the top of her cleavage. He licked his lips and dragged his eyes back up to Bella's face.

"Hey I was wondering...Would you like to go out sometime?"

~*o*~

Bella practically floated into the restaurant she was meeting the girls at. They both noticed and immediately attacked.

"Spill!" They both shouted.

So Bella told them all about the dreamy Dr. Cullen asking her out. Alice and Rosalie decided this called for a celebration.

~*o*~

The girls partied hard for the rest of the evening. As Bella became more inebriated, her tongue loosened up and she told the girls all about the Emmett incident. Alice's eyes widened with horror, but Rosalie's mind followed a different path. "Huge cock, huh? Did you get his number?" Bella shook her head in disbelief and ordered another round of Tequila.

By the end of the night Alice had met "the man of her dreams." Or as Rose liked to call him "The gay cowboy that's curious about tacos." She disappeared around 10, leaving Bella and Rose to make their own way home.

~*o*~

Bella stumbled into the lobby of her apartment building, and right into the arms of Officer Masen. He was in his uniform, headed to a night shift at the station.

Bella's mind whirled with fantasies of him removing that uniform.

_Slowly._

_To Music._

She fiddled with her necklace as she licked her lips and eyed his crotch. Edward's eyes dropped to the necklace and of course her tits, that were heaving from her excitement.

Without removing his eyes from her chest, he spoke. "Hey Bella, I wanna take you out sometime."

Her head snapped up, and he quickly removed his gaze from her tits. He shot her his trademark crooked smile, and her brain melted.

"Okay." She said dreamily while nodding like a bobble head.


	15. Chapter 15

**I forgot to mention in the last chapter that Vernon belongs to kitties1. I'm just giving a nod to her awesomeness. Much love to you my beloved beta, one of my all time fav authors, and very dear friend. Smeyer owns everything, but Vernon. Though I can almost promise she wouldn't touch this fic with a 10 foot pole..while wearing gloves...and a blindfold.**

Friday evening arrived, and for once Bella wasn't in her dismal funk. She had two new packages waiting for her in her room. Well...three if you count Vernon. She also had dates to look forward to this weekend. She couldn't believe she had been asked out THREE times! She only accepted two of them, and foolishly set them up for the same day. She would have to be careful to stick to a time table, or she would be standing a potential Batman up.

She quickly slipped out of her business attire and into some comfy jammies. She had swung by the store after work and was lucky enough to find Batman jammies in the boys section that fit her perfectly. The fitted thermal top hugged her breasts that proudly displayed the bat symbol. The soft cotton pants had smaller versions of the symbol scattered haphazardly about. She smiled at her refection in the bedroom mirror, then pranced off to make dinner for one.

As her mac and cheese baked in the oven, Bella made her way to the bedroom to visit her packages. She tore into the first one, revealing a very risque bat girl costume. She would never have the guts to where it in public, but she felt it was a good first step if you planned on getting naked with someone. It might even lead to some interesting role play.

After the costume was hung in its proper place in the closet, and the packaging properly discarded, Bella dove for the second box, knowing this will check another item off her list. She was about to chew through the box until she found a quick open tab along the side. Feeling silly, she ripped the tab away and released her prize. Finally!

She grabbed her list to mark the item off, as a plan started formulating in her head. She grabbed another sheet of paper and a marker and set about putting that plan in action.


	16. Chapter 16

**Still don't own any of it. Except I am currently wearing Bella's horrid outfit. And I do own a magic wand. I'd like to thank Katy Dazzledbythe Cullens for offering to pre-read this little bit of insanity. Let's continue our journey to find out who is the man behind the mask?**

**Batlog June 24, 2011**

It's Friday again.

Once again, I'm sitting here all dressed up and no place to go.

Well that's not true. The club is still there, waiting for the Dark Knight to make his appearance.

Instead I sit here watching the dark night make it's appearance.

Must be a new moon.

The lights of the city below don't give off enough light to see much, so I'm able to sit here in the shadows, unnoticed.

I guess it's not really that I have nowhere to go, its that I have no where I want to go.

That's not true either. I know where I want to go. I know where I am drawn with a force so strong that I can't seem to resist anymore.

I looked for her all week. I had never really paid attention to anyone else in the building before. I was too locked up in my own world. Now I see her everywhere. At the mailboxes, in the hallways, sunbathing at the pool. Okay maybe that last one is more fantasy than reality. She's pale. The sun might kill her...or at least make her unfuckable for a while.

We had a brief conversation in the lobby as we bumped into each other in passing.

She stood there subconsciously toying with her necklace.

Her bat symbol necklace.

I guess she really was interested.

I want so badly to tell her "It's Me!"

But I can't.

So instead I asked her if I could take her out sometime.

She agreed.

With my heart racing, I made my way to see Esme. The costume modifications were a must. I didn't know if she'd want me or bat-me, but I had to make sure all options were available.

Because I would totally be tapping that ass.

And now my dick's hard.

I'm cursing Esme for taking so long with my new suit as a hard dick is uncomfortable in an immobile codpiece.

I shouldn't be so pissed. Esme was all sweet smiles and blushing cheeks when I mentioned that I needed to have a removable cod. I think she was embarrassed by me talking about my dick. She seems kinda prudish.

Bella just opened her door to her balcony. I can see her, but I'm praying she can't see me. I'm not ready for her to know. Not yet.

She placed something on the ground and went right back inside.

When I was sure she wasn't going to come back, I eased my way over toward her balcony and peaked over the side.

_Fuck me._

She had placed a welcome mat at her balcony door.

A welcome mat in the shape of the bat signal.


	17. Chapter 17

Bella woke with a start. She had been having the best dream before the sun attempted to pierce her eyeballs through her thin lids. Glancing at the clock, she groaned. Five am was far too early to be awake on a Saturday. Determined to rid herself of the death rays, she sat up, only to feel an extreme pounding in her head. She knew she hadn't drank last night, so why was she hurting so bad?

She gingerly shuffled her way to the balcony access that was located in her bedroom. It was nothing more than a large sliding wall of glass. A wall of glass that was currently letting in blinding light. She

could have sworn she had closed the curtains the night before; she hated being woken by the sun.

As she stumbled her way back to bed, she realized she was experiencing a fair amount of pain coming for her inner thighs. The throbbing in her head had located to one distinct aching spot. She reached up to touch it and winced when she found a large painful lump there.

Deciding that the pain wouldn't allow her to sleep, Bella made her way to the bathroom to find some Ibuprofen. Much to her pain addled frustration, there was none to be found. She fished around and found an old bottle of Vicodin from when she had her appendix removed. She remembered the drug had some strange effects on her, but at the moment she couldn't care less.

Glancing in the mirror, she jumped a bit at her reflection. Her hair looked like a haystack. But that wasn't the most shocking thing. _Why am I naked?_


	18. Chapter 18

**BATLOG JUNE 25 2011**

I may or may not have jizzed my pants after seeing Bella's newest edition to her balcony.

Let's just say it took me a little while before I was ready to head over there.

_Vinyl can be a bitch to get in and out of. Especially when sticky, or wet._

After effectively waxing my balls with the moistened material, I made my way out to the balcony.

As I stared at the gap between the balconies, my balls suddenly went missing.

_Guess they were still sore over the impromptu hair removal._

It took me a while to find them again, and make it over to her balcony. Glancing at the living room door, the room was dark. I made my way over to the door that led to her bedroom. _The one she had placed the mat in front of. _The shades were drawn so I tried the door. It slid open easily.

The room was dark, but the light from the street fell on her pale face. She looked like an angel sleeping in a cloud of pillows. _An angel whose lips I wanted wrapped around my cock._

_What? I'm not a queer._

I slipped into her room all stealthy-like and climbed into bed with her. She had tossed the covers aside and I could see that her pajama top had ridden up to just under her tits. The bat signal stretched across them was calling to me. I ran my hand softly up her side and cupped one of those luscious melons. I almost creamed my pants again. They felt so damn good. I started squeezing them, thumbing her nipples. She started to moan in her sleep. Quietly at first, but as she started to get louder, her body started to writhe beneath me.

I shifted to I was hovering over her and nudged her knees apart with my own. Just as I settled between her thighs, her eyes popped open wide to look at me. I was afraid for a second she was going to scream.

She attacked me instead.

I choked a little as her tongue stroked my uvula. _Bitch was eager..._

I took this as a thumbs up to continue. _First order of business...off with the clothes..._


	19. Chapter 19

**I still don't own anything. I'm surprised anyone had made it this far into the story. If you are reading this, thanks! The following incident is based on a most unfortunate post operative experience in my own life. For those of you convinced me to get the hell off of the computer and sleep it off, I thank you. To those of you who sat and played with me until then, I thank you even more! I may not remember it, but reading the transcripts always cracks me up.**

A few hours after taking the Vicodin, Rosalie and Alice found Bella sitting stark naked in front of her computer, singing at the top of her lungs...badly.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!"

"BELLA!"

"BELLA!" They both yelled. It was only when Bella stood up to add her awesome dance moves to the performance that she noticed she had an audience.

"Bella what the fuck are you doing?" Rosalie yelled at her, exasperated.

"Bella's not here."

"What the fuck do you mean you're not here"

"Bella's not here."

Rosalie made to lunge at her, but the surprisingly strong pixie held her back. "Let me handle this Rose." She turned toward the naked girl in front of her.

"Hi! I'm Alice. And who might you be?"

"I'm G."

"G? Is that short for something?"

G looked at Alice like she was deranged. "Um, yeah..." she said, pointing at something on her monitor. "G-Raf."

Alice stood there completely puzzled. Rosalie, on the other hand, looked like she was about to piss herself. She was laughing so hard that tears were running down her cheeks and if she didn't get a breath soon, she would pass out.

She didn't get that breath.

Alice tried her best to get to Rosalie before she cracked her head on the floor. Sadly, she wasn't fast enough. Luckily, blacking out had stopped Rosalie's laughter enough to catch her breath, and the impact with the floor roused her.

"Oh my god, Rose are you alright?" Alice asked in a panic.

Rosalie felt the giggles return as she fought to get the words out. "She..She..haha..She...Oh my god Alice! She thinks shes...haha. She thinks shes a fucking giraffe!"

Alice looked at her friend, wondering if the impact had snapped something in Rosalie's brain. Rosalie was currently producing silent laughter and pointing at Bella's computer. Alice followed her finger to the picture of a pretty boy actor...with a giraffe. She swung around to look at the naked girl who was dancing and singing around the living room. She had something in her hand. Alice watched her for a moment as she used the marker to paint on...

"SPOTS! Fuck my life Bella, do you realize you have a date today! STOP IT!" She yelled, as she swiped the marker from her hands.

"Dates." The human giraffe corrected her tiny friend.

"What the hell are you talking about Bella. You have A date. Like going out with a real man...who just might fuck you if you are lucky enough."

"Dates. Two men who may fuck me." The girl giggled like a prepubescent teen. "Oh, maybe I can get them to do it at the same time!"

"Rosalie! Come help me sober her up." Rosalie gave no response. She turned and found Rosalie at Bella's computer. "Come on Rose, put that down and help me out here!"

"It's too good, Al. I can't put it down. She's was in some fucking chat...role playing as a giraffe." Rosalie burst into another round of laughter. Alice rolled her eyes, oushed Bella into a seated position, then stepped into the kitchen to make some coffee, and hide the sharpie.

"Alice you gotta read this shit." Rosalie turned the computer toward her. Bella made a move to get off the couch she had been shoved down on, but Alice's head whipped around, shooting her a glare that would have caused a serial killer piss himself. She immediately settled into her seat, deciding this was where she wanted to be anyway.

"I'm just a giraffe, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me...Oh, shit Bella! This is freaking golden. I gotta print this." Rosalie laughed out.

"I am soooooo glad we decided to come by early to get her ready." Alice grumbled.

"Hey G-Raf...where you hiding the extra printer paper." Rosalie's voice was muffled as she rummaged through her friend's desk.

"Hey guys...can I ask you a personal question." Bella suddenly asked in a very shy voice. The girls both nodded their heads in interest.

"I got this rash...I don't know where it came from and I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, lets see it." Rosalie...always the brave one.

Bella opened her legs, to which Alice immediately turned away. Rosalie, on the other hand, got down on eye level with Bella's inner thighs.

"Vinyl burn...Nice."


	20. Chapter 20

**BATLOG JUNE 25 2011 (continued)**

My cock wept with joy when I got my first glimpse of those luscious tits. I may have cried a little as well. Bella didn't seem to notice, as she was busy humping my leg worse then my first dog, Ursa. I could tell she was getting frustrated as she clawed at me. Thank god the plastic of my suit was protecting me from her nails.

I yanked her bottoms and panties down in one fairy smooth maneuver. I even kinda impressed myself.

When I finished thoroughly patting my own back for my accomplishment, I gazed down at her pussy. It was smooth and childish looking. I almost felt like a dirty pervert.

That was until she wrapped her legs around my middle so tight I almost farted and screamed out "Oh help me Batman! Only you have the key to my release! Please help me!"

_Don't mind if I do..._

I immediately set to rubbing my cod against her as firmly as possible. She was squealing and wiggling and turning all red. I wasn't getting much in the way of sensation, but it wouldn't have taken much to set me off at this point.

Finally Bella landed a right hook to the side of my head and I realized all the squealing wasn't from pleasure. Apparently I was sticking to her skin. She was mumbling some shit about black leather seats in a car that has been sitting in the sun.

She jumped up from the bed and opened a drawer. In her impatience the drawer actually flew from its tracks and sent its contents flying to the air. Several penis shaped objects flew through the air, one of them caught the dim light and sparkled before smacking me firmly in the head. _FUCK THAT HURT. _

"A HA!" She yelled as she ran back to the bed. She slipped on a nubby purple dildo and went flying face first into my cod.

I felt that.

Completely oblivious to my suffering, Bella shoved on my shoulder, till I lay back. She then straddled my thighs and began so squirt something all over my crotch area.

I reached down to touch the goo. _Lube._

Before I could get pissed at her for desecrating my sacred bat-suit, she had mounted me and was bucking like a rodeo cowboy determined to win a giant buckle. Her weight on top allowed me to feel her pressing against me through the hard cod. I grabbed her hips and began to guide her faster and faster along my length.

She was mumbling a lot of "Oh Gods" and "Oh Batmans" and the occasional "Please fuck me nows,"

and I was eating that shit up. Until she looked toward my eye holes and panted out, "Please..Tell me who you are."

I was so stunned a let go of her hips. The momentum I had built up was too fast, and the lube was too slippery. She went flying forward, and the next thing I knew I had a mouth full of titty. Unfortunately, she had gotten a face full of headboard.

_She hit that bitch so hard it cracked._

Sadly, that knocked her out.

Luckily, it ended the questioning.

I hung around to make sure she wasn't going to die. I cleaned up the dildos, shooting a nasty glare at the sparking one that had slapped me upside the head.

I thought about redressing her, but she started to stir. I ran out to of there and onto the balcony. _Why the fuck didn't I use the door?_

I realized I still had her clothes in my hand when I went to climb on the ledge. I took a good sniff of her panties and then tossed the pile of clothes onto my own balcony.

When I finally made it inside my own apartment I took inventory of the damage. The side of my head was sore from her little fist, my lip was a little split from the assault with her tit, and I was a gooey sticky mess...inside and outside my batskin.

_Fuck. I better go see Esme._


	21. Chapter 21

After a pot of coffee, and Alice tossing her into an ice cold shower, Bella was feeling somewhat better. Alice did her best to remove the sharpie marks from Bella's arms, but there was only so much that rubbing alcohol could do. The dots were most definitely still there, all be it somewhat pale.

Somewhere between hair and makeup, Bella finally explained to her friends how she accidentally double booked her Saturday. To say they were surprised was an understatement.

"Bella, you realize there are a million things that could go wrong here."

"Way to make me feel better about this Alice. Thanks."

"Who is first? What if you have such a great time and want to stay with him? What if he takes you somewhere far away and you don't get home in time? What if.."

"What if your tongue could reach your clit...then you would shut the fuck up and stop making her more nervous" Rosalie shot at the evil sprite. "Bella, you little slut, I'm proud of you. Its good to have options."

"Um thanks...I think."

~*o*~

Bella was meeting Carlisle at a coffee shop at noon. Alice suggested that Bella wear a lavender cardigan over a tank top and a floral print skirt. Carlisle seemed like such a nice proper man, and it wouldn't do Bella good to flash too much skin. Especially since that skin was covered in faded giraffe spots.

"Bella! So good to see you made it." Carlisle called from his seat. He didn't bother to rise since he was already comfortable.

"Carlisle, so good to see you. I hope you didn't wait long."

"Well I had to be here for another engagement. I hope you don't mind, I already ate."

Bella smiled and nodded at Carlisle. She was hungry, but he she could forgive him. He had such good manners to worry about her feelings.

"Bella, you look awfully warm. Would you like to remove that sweater?" Bella blushed in embarrassment, remembering her morning escapades.

"Oh, no I'm quite comfortable, thank you."

Carlisle nodded, disappointed, and launched into telling Bella the story of him. Bella sat, nodding shyly at the appropriate places. She was glad he did all the talking, as she was so shy around men. She learned how he followed in his fathers footsteps to become a doctor, but how he felt like he was meant to do something else.

"I feel like a man, lost and wandering, hoping to find my way." Bella's heart pounded, thinking maybe she could help him on that journey.

Carlisle eyed the pretty brunette in front of him, his eyes drifting to her neckline. "Bella, are you sure you aren't too warm in that sweater. I'd be happy to help you out of it." Bella blushed and looked down. He was trying to be so thoughtful, and she had been so foolish.

"No thank you, I'm very comfortable." She answered her coffee cup, too afraid to look in his eyes. Carlisle frowned at her. This date was not going the way he planned. He continued to wow Bella with tales of his awesomeness. She was so impressed she didn't notice that he was actually telling her cleavage the story.

The waiter arrived at the table with a glass of water he had requested. Bella thought that Carlisle's throat must be awful dry since he had spoken so much, but the truth was that he had a devious plan. As the waiter went to set the glass down, Carlisle reached out and bumped his hand, causing the glass to fall sideways, soaking Bella's sweater.

"Oh dear! Here Bella, let me help you out of that," He offered politely.

"Um no..that's ok. It will dry." Bella said as she attempted to brush the water off.

Carlisle frowned. He hadn't been able to get her to take that sweater off that was impeding his view. He shot a glare at her chest, but quickly realized that all wasn't lost. Bella was effectively fondling herself as she tried to wring some water from the soaked cloth. When she finally gave up, he rejoiced in the way the thin sweater cling to her breasts and revealed her tight nipples.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a walking curse." she said with a quivering voice, as she tossed her napkin on the table. Grabbing his own napkin, Carlisle went to Bella' and knelt beside her chair.

"Here, let me help you," he said, as he began to firmly stroke and squeeze her breasts.

Carlisle felt a stirring in his pants.

Bella felt a stirring in her stomach. She felt somewhat queasy. Is this what people meant when they said they felt butterflies in their stomach? She must be falling in love! She didn't like the feeling much, but decided it had to be endured. After all, this could lead to her happily ever after.

Hard and horny, Carlisle decided against spending anymore time at the coffee house, and offered to walk Bella home.

When they arrived at her door, Bella barely had time to squeak out "I had a nice..." Before Carlisle had her pressed up against the door, his tongue in her mouth and her breast in his hand. Bella had never been touched like this before, so she tried her best to relax into it. After all, this was how it was supposed to be, right?

Hearing the soft click of a door closing near by, Bella finally broke away from the man attached to her face. She blushed furiously as she looked up at him. "Th-Thank you Carlisle...I had a really nice time." she said quietly, before slipping in her door and closing it softly.


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm working on this story at the last minute so from here on out, I am betaless. I apologize for any errors. I tend to typo a lot. Much love to kitties1 who helped up until she had to go to sleep. My bad for procrastinating! **

Edward arrived at Bella's door at 6:13 that evening.

_How in the fuck are you late when you live next door?_ Bella thought as she went to the door. She was starting to think that maybe she should cancel this date. She might just be falling in love with Carlisle, so why bother?

A glance through the peep hole reminded her why to bother. _Damn he's hot._

With her best bitch face on, she swung the door open...a little too hard...and slammed herself in the forehead with it.

"Ow. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Edward smirked at her. "You alright there?"

She found herself at a loss for words. She stood there staring at him blankly.

"Hey! Are you alright? Do we need to go to the emergency room?"

Bella shook herself out of her stupor. She needed to have her wits about her to deal with a man like this.

"I'm fine. Are you ready to go?"

"Yep. You all set?"

Bella nodded and reached for her coat. Edward stopped her with a gentle hand upon her shoulder. Taking the coat from her hands, he slipped it up her arms, letting his fingers trail across her bare skin as he went. She felt tingly all over from his touch. She thanked her lucky stars that she had finally been able to shower away her sharpie marks. She wanted to wear something sexy for Edward, and her cobalt halter dress was perfect.

Edward was the perfect gentleman. He opened doors for her, pulled out her chair, listened intently to her and maintained eye contact. He took her to eat a real meal, for which she was ever so grateful. She would have hated to pass out on him. They got along like they had known each other for years as they answered each others questions. Edward was very interested in what Bella wanted to say, instead of talking only of himself. The night would have been perfect, but Edward seemed a little sullen the whole night. She was getting frustrated with his sulkiness. She decided to try and get a rise out of him.

_Not that way you pervs. _

"So why were you late tonight?" she asked him innocently.

"Oh, I had to stop by the tailor shop. I had to um...getthecrotchletoutofmypants."

"Come again?"

"I had to get my crotch let out."

_You are welcome to let it out at anytime big boy._

Edward snorted his drink. "Still haven't found someone to look at that filter, huh?" he choked out.

Bella looked at him completely confused. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing...nevermind." Edward wiped his chin with a napkin and shook his head a little.

With their meal finished and the check paid, Bella feared that the night was coming to a close. She didn't want to leave this beautiful man's company yet. Luckily, Edward felt the same way.

"Bella, I'm not ready to let you go just yet. Can I keep you a little longer."

She giggled and blushed at him, while nodding her assent.


	23. Chapter 23

The music at the club was loud and throbbing. Bella could feel it speeding up her heart beat as she walked through the dimly lit room. Edward so close behind her that she could feel his warmth, and smell his wonderful scent.

They found a table and ordered some drinks. The loud volume of the club had them sitting closely and leaning into each other. Bella could hardly breath being so close to the gorgeous man. He had cast his wicked spell upon her, but she had no complaints. _If I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly._

Alcohol was like truth serum for Bella, much to Edward's amusement. The more she drank, the more she gave away.

"I have like 12 dildos. They have their own nice little cozy home next to my bed. They all have names! Then I get to pretend I'm with a different guy every night!"

Edward snickered and ordered another round.

"Hey Edward...You're so pretty, you know that? Why you so sad? Don't you want to put your penis in me?"

It was about that time that he spit his drink all over her chest.

"That wasn't very nice! Now you gotta lick it off."

Edward grabbed what was left of his drink and swallowed it all. Then he grabbed the little napkin and started to wipe her chest off. He continued cleaning as he spoke, keeping his eyes on his task.

"Bella, sweetheart, I really like you. I just worry that you aren't as invested in this as I am."

"Oh I've invested a lot...in thongs, hookerwear..SHIT! I forgot the condoms!"

"Bella what are you talking about?"

"Come on! Let's dance!" She yelled, yanking him along with her. Somewhere between the Tequila Sunrise and the Whiskey Sour, she had forgotten that she didn't know how to dance.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor, she began to sway her hips seductively; running her hands up and down her body. Edward was hard in an instant. Britney Spears was moaning out "Breathe on Me" over the speakers. Edward let out a little moan of his own when he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, causing his hard cock to come in contact with her luscious ass.

Bella had never been so turned on in her life. She kept moving her ass against his hard cock, as his hands started to wander her body. Their bodies were pulsing together,their need for each other growing with each thrust and grope.

Edward ran his hand up and down her thigh, slipping under her skirt after a few passes. As he got closer and closer to her wet core, her knees began to shake. She was sure she was going to die from anticipation. She turned her head to look at him and found his face inches from her's. Panting into each others mouths, they stared at each other.

Bella started to ponder if Edward was not Batman at all. He seemed more the superman type, what with his steel cock and his eyes shooting blazing sexrays. _Whoever he is, I want him. BAD._

The corner of Edward's mouth curled up. Bella was confused about what suddenly brought on his mirth, but quickly forgot her musings when he crashed his lips into hers. It was hot and needy, sloppy, spitty...and frankly a little uncomfortable with the angle her neck was turned at.

She spun around to get a better angle, their kiss becoming nearly pornographic. They were able to reach that X-rating when Edward slipped his hand up her skirt again, this time making it to the valley of lace and lust. Panting hard, and nearly insane with lust, Bella begged Edward to take her home.


	24. Chapter 24

The couple found it impossible to separate themselves as they made their way into the apartment building. Hands roaming, lips attached, they made their way noisily into the elevator. Fourteen floors gave Edward the chance to feel how wet the girl in his arms was. If he thought she was wet before, it had nothing on the Niagara falls he had unleashed by this point.

He was thrilled that this quiet sexy girl could want him as badly as he wanted her. The elevator dinged, signaling their arrival on their floor. They bumped and banged into everything as they made their way to her door. It was quite late, nearly 2 am, but they couldn't seem to find it in themselves to be quiet.

Finally stumbling through her door, Edward wasted no time untieing the halter on her dress. The shiny blue fabric slipped down her body easily, leaving her in nothing but a pair of heals and a tiny lace thong.

Edward faced heavenward and muttered a word of thanks.

Bella pressed herself against him, twining her fingers in his hair and tipping his head down to face her. "Do you want me baby?" she asked sweetly.

"Bella I want you so bad, I don't know what to do."

"I got an idea."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" He said while kissing her neck.

"Take off you pants and jacket." she stated breathily.

He pulled away from her in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Oh thank God baby, I thought I was going to die without a release."

Bella stood there in shock as Edward dropped his pants and started stroking himself in front of her. She had intended to have him climb into bed with her for a little romp, not take matters into his own hands.

It wasn't long before Edward was spurting his seed against her belly. Bella didn't quite know how to feel about that.

"God Bella, that's so fucking hot." Edward muttered as he stared at her jizz covered abdomen. Glancing down at himself, he noticed some stray sperm. "Shit! I got some on my...jacket. Oh mygod Bella, you meant jacket, as in take off my pants as well as my jacket. Shit! Shit! Fuck! I'm so sorry. Baby? Baby, please!"

"Um...I think I'm going to get a shower now. Thank you for a lovely evening." she stated calmly as she turned on her heel and headed toward the bathroom.


	25. Chapter 25

The Sunday after her blouse soaking and cum catching, Bella decided that she better stock up on some condoms. The way things were getting hot and heavy, it was only a matter of time before she would be putting them to good use.

Bella decided that the odds of running into someone she knew at Walmart were greater than the odds at a specialty shop. As in a sex shop.

After a quick trip to google to find a place that fit her needs, she made her way into _Knockin' Boots. _She sat in her car for a few minutes clutching her steering wheel and taking deep breaths.

"You can do this Bella. You're a big girl, and you want the sex." The self-pep talk really wasn't working. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. She'd find a slogan on here to be her motto.

Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.

Don't be silly, protect your Willie.

When in doubt, shroud you spout.

Don't be a loner, cover your boner.

You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.

If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

If you slip between her thighs, condomize.

She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.

If you go into heat, package your meat.

While you're undressing Venus, dress up your penis.

The right selection, is to protect your erection.

If you really love her, wear a cover.

Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.

Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.

If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

Even If she's eager, protect her beaver.

Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam.

Don't surprise her, plug your Geyser.

Cover your peter, it will be much neater.

Don't be a fool, cover your tool.

Coat that slimmer before you prime her.

Cover old pete, then grind her meat.

Wrap your bate before you mate.

Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe.

Contain your lizard, then tickle her gizzard.

Cover your vein, then drive her insane.

Wrap that pickle, then slip her a tickle.

Protect your dink, then fluff her mink.

Hide ole harry, then take her cherry.

Shroud your trout, then make her shout.

Got no protection? Can't use your erection!

Dress that erection to make a deflection.

Cap that seeder before you breed her.

Stop the stream before you cream.

Protect your screw to catch that glue.

Wrap that rod, then please her bod.

Sheath that knife, she ain't your wife.

Cover your limb before you swim.

Cover your stone before you bone.

House your hose, then curl her toes.

Blanket your twitch, then hump that bitch.

Shield your rocks, then pound her box.

Cover old sly, then do her dry.

If your nude, tube your dude.

Sheath your sliver, then jab her liver.

Contain that leach, then mash her peach.

Blanket old juicy, then plug old loosey.

Wrap your whopper, then go bop her.

She couldn't really choose one to be her theme. They were mostly written for men, not women. She did like the idea of covering you peter to keep it neater. She was very fastidiously neat. At the moment, hiding ole harry to take her cherry seemed like a good plan.

Shaking her head at herself, Bella folded the paper back up and returned it to her pocket. She made her way out of the car and quickly into the store. So quickly in fact that she didn't have time to get her bearings and ran write into an elaborate display. She got a face full of pocket pussy, while ben wah balls went flying, rabbits started squirming and anal beads fell at her feet.

Grabbing a basket and shooting the cashier an apologetic look, she darted away from the mess and back toward the wall of wonders. Her eyes grew wide at the sight in front of her. Condoms in every color of the rainbow. There were scented ones, flavored ones, ribbed ones, glowing ones..._Does that one say it plays music?_

Like a kid in a candy store, Bella was grabbing everything in sight. She wanted to know what they all did. She was juggling several boxes in her hands when she noticed a familiar plaid shirt across the way. _Oh my god, its Charlie. EWWW!_

Bella's father was carefully contemplating between a pocket pussy and a flesh light. She had to get out of there, fast! Grabbing one of everything within reach, she tossed them all into the basket and made her way to the counter. In her haste, she had forgotten about the display she tackled. Her foot landed on a ben wah ball, then her head cracked the floor. The basket flew out of her hand, condoms scattering over her form like confetti.

She laid there with her eyes closed and her hand on her now tender head. "Owww," she moaned out.

"Bella?"_ Oh no._

"Bella, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Charlie looked at her with a face full of concern.

"You can't go wrong if you shield your dong..."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"If your nude, tube your dude!"

"Bella, have you lost your mind?"

"I forgot, you only speak fish...Shroud your trout, then make her shout."

Charlie's face was red with embarrassment. "Bella, you really need to stop this right now."

"If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it. My advice buy both of em, its been a while since you've been with a woman."

"WHAT?"

"The pocket pussy and the flesh light...get em both Dad."

Charlie palmed his face, then took a look around him. People were staring at him, he had to get out of there.


	26. Chapter 26

Bella was mortified as she made her way home from her misadventure in shopping. She thought her red face would surely become permanent. She also knew she could never face her father again.

She made her way quickly to her door, hoping to avoid anymore catastrophes. Luck was not on her side, as Carlisle chose that moment to join her in the hallway. Her tummy dropped, not unlike the way it would if one was being followed by a creepy dude driving a big old van. _How can I feel so strongly about him already?_

Hiding her bag behind her back, she gave Carlisle her best smile. Glancing at her tight fitting, deep v neck top, Carlisle returned her smile. Bella unlocked her door and pushed it open a bit, before Carlisle moved to her side, slipping on hand around her waist.

"So listen, I was thinking we should get together and..."

Carlisle was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. They both just froze, listening curiously as the answering machine picked up.

"_Hi this is Bella. I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message!"_

_BEEP_

"_Hi Bella, this is Jane calling from American Express. We noticed an unusual charge on your credit card, and we wanted to make sure your card hadn't been stolen. Did you spend $378.94 at Knockin' Boots Sex Supply and Pleasure Shop? Please give us a call back to let us know!"_

_BEEP_

Bella felt like she was going to throw up. Without daring to look up at him Bella mumbled, "So what were you saying?"

"We definitely need to get together," he said in a low sexy voice, as he pulled her closer and pressed his hard cock into her belly.

Just then Bella noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Edward was walking by, and he was glaring at the both of them.


	27. Chapter 27

**Batlog July 8 2011**

It's been almost two weeks since my date with Bella.

She felt so perfect in my arms. Her lips felt so good on mine. I want to fuck her so goddamn bad.

But she seems more withdrawn these last two weeks. It's like she's off in her own little world. I've seen her, but its like she doesn't even notice me.

I haven't been back to the club since that night I broke into her apartment. I need her more then I need the attention I get their. So here I sit, once again, all dressed up and lurking on my porch.

I know I'm not the only man she's seeing. I heard them in the hallway. I was stupid enough to take a look. I saw her in his arms.

But I haven't seen them together since.

Although we haven't been together either.

She's on her porch again. Its dark and cloudy tonight, so I can barely make her out, but I can hear her clearly.

She's crying softly.

It makes my heart hurt, but I can't bring myself to move toward her. So I stay here lurking in the shadows, talking to a book.

I need to talk to her.

I need to tell her who I am.

"Where are you Batman? I need you" she says softly info the night.

_She needs me._

I'm going to do it, I'm going to get my girl!


	28. Chapter 28

**Authorlog November 21 2011**

**Guess what? That's it! BWHAHAHA! I'm evil no?**

**Okay here's the deal...I could have rushed this story to a finish, but I just wasn't done playing with these characters yet. So guess what? **

**That's right, you're getting a sequel. **

**If nothing else it gives me the opportunity to make another awesome banner.**

**Did you see the banner to this one? I think its pretty freakin cool. Go to my profile, its posted there.**

**So bad news, you all probably wanna strangle me right now. But the good news is that the sequel, Unmasking the Man, will come very soon.**

**That's all for the important stuff. I won't force you to read the rest.**

Lots of thanks for all the wonderful people who have been my hoors all this time on facebook. Most of you know that I have chosen to leave the twilight facebook community, but for those who didn't know, let me just say I'll miss ya and its been a fun ride. I'm still around out here in fanfictionville, hoarding the fics so if you need something, just ask.

To midnightlove87, I hope you enjoyed your present. When I first read your prompts, I was at a loss. Whilst staring at a pic of batman shortly after I got bitten by the evil plot bunny. I decided instead of choosing one prompt, I'd choose them all. You'll see how it all works out in the next installment :) Thanks for the prompts and I'm glad I got the chance to write your FAGE. Don't get in too much trouble reading it at work!

Vampiremama, I love you! You share my Peter lovin' tendencies and you went through all the hard work to put this awesome exchange together. Thank you for including me in this, even if I really had no business in it lol. Not just because of the group thing, but also because I'm not really a writer. Your comments as I am posting have me about to piss myself laughing. I hope you keep on enjoying it!

Kitties1 is my heart. Thank you for reading this and laughing along with me. I have a tendency to think I am funny, but sometimes I'm the only one who thinks that. Your feedback kept me going. You have always been my rock to lean on, my shoulder to cry on, and the best friend I could have ever made. You have such a generous heart and I am so blessed to have you as a friend.

To my CQH girls (and James lol) You may be scattered all across the globe, but you are my family, and I love you all dearly. You make me laugh daily, and that really warms my soul. And you put up with my drugged ass when I thought I was a giraffe. I hoped you noticed the little funnies I included for you guys. Luv ya!

Ro Nordamann I'm all done here. You can FLAG this shit now. Love ya, bb!


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